Spiritual Business

Smarty pants

I have decided to get smart. I want to be smarter than I am. I have a great work ethic, I just don't always think that I have a huge amount upstairs to work with. No, no, I am not looking for platitudes denying my beliefs about my smartness. I would just like to be smarter, cleverer, to trust my smarts.

In my desire to tone up my grey matter, I Googled, "How to be smarter." The web has all the answers, it recently helped me to remove disagreeable oil stains from a precious silk top that drove the dry cleaner to throw his hands up in despair. I trust Google. Google is smart.

So, the tips on how to be smarter are as follows:

• Set goals once a week - Need to do more of this. Will do!
  
• Further your education - Yep, going back to University this year
• Work on my vocabularly - Hence the use of the word disagreeable in regards to drycleaning and the use of the word 'hence.'
• Watch the news - Does a cursory glance at the morning papers while I wait for my coffee count?
• Cultivate an interest - I have many interests, does this make me intersting?
• Read good books - I try but I really like crappy fiction that is as far removed from my life as possible.
• Be organised - This is a big one and comes back to setting weekly goals. 2009 will be year of organisation for me.
• Learn to listen - Hard for me as I am a big talker. I annoy myself. Stop talking. Shhh.
  
• Be nice to people - I try, not so hard, people are mostly nice to me.
• Be friends with smart people -  All my friends are WAAAYYY smarter than me, clever me!
• Exercise your mind - I hate chess and Rubiks cubes. What else can I do? Suduko?
  
• Learn to do mental maths - I am a corky at this. I will do more.
  
• Visit new places - I will go as far as the bank balance will allow.
  
• Visualise - I have a lovely visual world. I see it clearly most of the time.

Once I get smart done, next stop genius. There is always something to do.

Later.

5 Responses to ‘Smarty pants’

1. Louisa says:

January 21, 2009 at 9:36pm

Are you for real??? Is this a mercury retrograde mistake? You are one of the smartest people i know!! In so many ways! This is so ridiculous! Yes 'one' can always improve but this is like Kate Moss thinking she is overweight..! You told me how to download high res pics and instal anti-viral software on my computer AND you always have read books that i recommend AND you are psychic AND you try new things all the time AND you already travel and read and listen and have great friends and ponder new ideas.... What else kinda smarts do ya need, lady?
Though i do applaud your new use of the word 'disagreable'. It made me smile. And i do like the smart checklist:)

2. Mrs Underhill says:

January 22, 2009 at 4:29pm

This is really the funniest thing you have written in a long, long time. I am killing myself laughing. It's like I wrote this. I love disagreeable and hence by the way, funny funny comment. I also love that I think you may have misspelled sodoku. It is up there with the fact that, as I explained to a potential new client today that I am a bit of stickler for professionalism, he pointed out that I had misspelled his boss's name in the proposal I had sent. HILARIOUS! What kind of loser am I??????

Why is it that you and I rarely discuss things going on in our head like the above but we often decide to tackle similar things at similar times? One thing I wrote as an intention in my spanking new 2009 diary is to 'find myself more interesting', do more interesting things and take myself and others, like my Mum in particular, to new and unusual places. I am also kicking myself constantly for not listening and being Miss Interrupter and I only just lectured Mr U, the other day, on the fact that we are both shite at maths because we constantly say, out loud, that we are shite at maths.

You are a very clever woman. I am trying in my endeavours but I back you 100 per cent in your pursuit too. One can always have more smarts about you and you only have to come across a real brain trust to feel completely awed at the knowledge some people carry around in their coconuts.

Of course we are fabulously funny, loved by many and know how to slap a good meal together for friends. I know very clever people who I could not sit through a meal with and who seem to struggle with some of the softer gooey parts of life. You may feel the lack of some traits but surely you are spoiled with others Miss?

3. Kate says:

January 22, 2009 at 8:33pm

Bless you ladies. You are shining examples of my clever friends.
K
x

4. Sarah says:

January 23, 2009 at 3:01pm

You are sooooo funny (and smart) I too loved hence! Bless you. You are well rounded - as they say - perhaps a wee crossword to start if you really must, then work up to the Cryptic... S

5. Louisa says:

January 23, 2009 at 4:07pm

And platitudes. That was a very smart word too.

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