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Thursday
October 1
2009
Posted at 9:37am 0 comments

There is no try

Discussions yesterday with my wise mentor who made me laugh when I told her about us losing on the big job. She said, "Don't you hate it when they say you came second, as if there is prize or something for second?"

Agreed. There is no second. There is only lose or win. This time we lost. If there is anything good then I am yet to see it, hopefully it will make its appearance soon.

Meanwhile, I am thinking about the letting go of seeing everything as a test or punishment. Shit happens sometimes and you just have to get up and move on. Talking to the Joyous Squaw, we talked about her losing a large amount of money and her solution was to throw herself under the surf and let the waves roll over her. There was nothing she could do about it and so she let go.

I dreamed last night of being a protogee of a particular famous women in publishing. Interesting, as I recently had a dream where she told me what was wrong with me. Last night she told me what was right with me. Crazy, crazy subconscious.

I have no answers, I have no questions. My goal at the moment is to get up and breathe each day. Times are hard but I am ever hopeful.

 

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