Spiritual Business

There may be blood.

Big astro week with Mercury entering Aquarius and a new moon on the 13th. Don't start anything new until the 14th if possible. Timed with the Chinese New Year, we can expect people's energy to shift towards a more positive direction.

Venus enters Pisces and stays there until March 7th, so I wonder if there maybe some progress on the gay marriage movement during this transit. Pisceans see everything in rainbow colours, never black and white. Bless the little rainbow fish.

Meanwhile, I am filled with ideas and never enough time to get them moving. I know, the whinge of the dammed right? Self-indulgent b*#tch, yeah, yeah, I know.

I have been obsessed with reading about other creative peoples routines but they all seem to be able to work when they want, when the Genie of Genius deems to visit them. They don't have lunches to make, dinners to make, washing to sort and dogs to feed. I get a certain amount of hours in which to write my stories and research my work and then sudden I am a Mum again and all ideas must be shelved until such a time as I can be in peace again.

The main problem is that I need total silence in which to work. Not even music. Occasionally, I have fashion TV playing silently in the background. (I am a Taurus, we like nice clothes!) When the changelings are home, I'm blessed with the sounds of The Simpsons, fighting and the eternal noise from smalls - fighting. I have a blood rule in my house, no interference from adults until there is blood sighted. Siblings teach each other about confliction resolution in the real world but man, my head at times pounds from the noises from down the hallway.

Sometimes I wonder about the blood rule and I ponder over the idea that will be no interference until blood is sighted, what if it's my own blood? The toil of trying to keep up with the ideas or when I am stuck and rewriting a single paragraph over and over, I would not be surprised if I saw blood on the keyboard, dripping from my eyes or forehead. My own creative stigmata. Anyway, I digress and perhaps, martyr myself a little.

I am blessed, I know but the caveats around my creative process are wearing. I am envious of the artists who get up at 4am and work till their duties call them. Or those who can start at 10pm and write till 3am. I am at the mercy of my Creative Genie, who pops in and out of my life.

Some people speak of a ritual they perform before they start their work, a personal private practise that gives call to the Genie and asks them to come and inspire. I am trying to find that ritual.

I think creative's are a superstitious lot. The desk or canvas must be a certain way. A type of font or pencil must always be used. Coffee drunk from a particular cup, made a certain way. Perhaps then the Genie will see we are serious and ready for to be filled with spirit. Inspired.

So, I sit here in my weird, worn nightgown with embarrassing teddies on it, like a giant toddler, typing on my laptop, knowing I cannot get up and have a shower until the words are out of me. Afraid that if I let go now then I may let go forever. The dogs wander around me, waiting for their breakfast. The washing sits in the basket waiting to be folded.

The words jangle inside me, waiting to be released.

4 Responses to ‘There may be blood.’

1. Joyous Squaw says:

February 11, 2010 at 9:33am

Reminds me of a friend , who was a gifted painter and whom I visited when she was living in squallor in a Richmond Housing Commission. She was down on her luck, no housework done, had no money. I asked her (as she was very intelligent and capable) why she didnt go searching for a job. I remember the look of shock on her face as she replied "I'm an artist".... And at the time I thought "Oooo" to myself, that of course she was and as if she could do some menial job like the rest of us have had to from time to time to make ends meet in the earlier days when perhaps we would rather have just been attending classes at Nida and contemplating our creative, artist navels !!

Yep.... Genius or no...... the other stuff (life and responsibility) just must be attended to and we must covet our creative time WHEN we have the time to be creative ....

That's why we (you) are the jugglers of the circus... trying to keep all the balls in the air, the dogs fed, the kids from killing each other AND create great work in the process.

Good on you .... but as a friend, I must mention you may like to re-think the teddy nightgown (no judgement.....just a thought) .... xxoo

2. Mrs Underhill says:

February 12, 2010 at 11:02am

The nightgown must go ... at least I know what to buy you next birthday.

3. Dreamweaver says:

February 12, 2010 at 11:14am

Jeez, Mrs Underhill and the Joyous Squaw are harsh on the nightwear. I did explain it was weird and made me look like a giant toddler.
P.S Mrs Underhill, cotton only please.....

4. Anonymous says:

February 13, 2010 at 3:05am

I smile as I read both your post and the response from Squaw, who so rightly points out the characteristics that make up so many of we creative types. As a kid my dad saw my artistic skills and constantly threatened that I would be a starving artist, promptly insisting that I learn to type so that I would "have a skill" and some "ability to work". =) 'Course as I get older I appreciate his concerns as I juggle my 50 hour workweek, landlording, house chores. Meanwhile I stare at my unfinished paintings every night wondering if I shouldn't force time to do them. But, without inspiration, without the desire- and the time, the place, the right mood - I simply can't paint!! So I feel your pain, minus the screaming smalls.

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