Spiritual Business

A quincunx of a chart

As a an amateur astro whore, I am always interested when celebrities have a tough time. Schendenfreude? Never!

Instead I put it down to a healthy curiosity. I am possibly the nosiest person I know and have a wonderful ability to get people to tell me stuff.

This of course can be awkward, like the time I sat next to a drunk indian on an international flight, who ordered french champagne the entire flight. One question from me and he and proceeded to tell me about his short-lived marriage to an Indian Brahmin princess for the entire eight hours. The straw that broke the back of the marriage was her refusal to turn on an electric kettle. Fair enough, I thought to myself. (I have those days when I request Gandalf carry me from room to room on his back.) He was planning suicide but I convinced him that no kettle/ princess was worth losing his life for. At the end of the flight he had sobered up and was planning to look up his childhood girlfriend. Slumdog Air to the rescue!

This morning I see Miss Lohan has headed to jail. How long she will serve and will it help are questions I cannot answer. What I do know is that she has a shite chart. Poor kid. Cancerians like to feel things, deeply. They are often without a rudder, i.e.. a mother or father. Dina and Michael are both narcissistic dicks.

The Cancerians are the water sign looking to go back to the estuary. The main junction from where they came. Cancerians usually have abandonment issues.

If Cancerians can't feel then they replicate emotions through self abuse. Drugs, unusual sexual partners, self harm. Cancerians love the drugs. Little stoned crabs.

La Lohan's problem is her dark manifestation of her Sun/Neptune opposition. This means her illusions skills are brilliant. When used for good, like her acting, she is in her element. When used for self delusion she gets an orange jumpsuit that looks like Dina Lohans's fake tan.

Ah Lindsay. Get your shit together gurrrl. Otherwise you will end up dead by the time you are 27. Think Jean-Michel Basquiat and Kurt Cobain. Sad.

Later.

3 Responses to ‘A quincunx of a chart’

1. char says:

July 22, 2010 at 3:53pm

Omg you make me laugh. Little stoned crabs. Omg ROFL!!! You are so fun =D

2. char says:

July 22, 2010 at 3:55pm

Perhaps I should have mentioned in my last comment though that it is a sad story, as are those of Jean-Michel and Kurt. It isn't funny much at all. Just your prose is =P like the orange jumpsuit tan comment....

3. Dreamweaver says:

July 22, 2010 at 4:01pm

Yes, it is sad smut and a morality tale at that. Self delusion 101. But a hell of a chart though!

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