Spiritual Business

Chaos

kate@spiritualbusiness.com.au (Kate Forster) — Thu, 2 Sep 2010 09:00:19 +0000

I am surrounded by chaos at the moment. I am trying to learn to live with it, particularly in the house. You see, I have a confession to make. I am a stress cleaner. At the moment it is messy and perhaps even dirty and besides ensuring basic hygenine standards are met, I am trying to learn to live with it.Does this mean I am not stressed? Hell no, but I am tired of the constant routine. Cleaning does nothing to relieve the worry.

I will get to it when I can, is my new mantra. So the idea of a 'Spring Clean' is not for me right now. I am recoining it, 'Spring Leave.'

I have decided housework is a futile excercise. Life is too short to stuff a mushroom, as Shirley Conran once said. It is done and then it needs to be done again.

Nothing lasts, impermanance is the answer, so say the Buddhist housecleaners.

Happy Spring for those in the Southern Hemisphere. Happy Autumn for those in the North.

Open your eyes

kate@spiritualbusiness.com.au (Kate Forster) — Sat, 28 Aug 2010 09:04:32 +0000

I have been on the hunt for a new desk. The desk I have been using was built for writers in Liliput Land and it never felt comfortable. It is pretty but not functional. Oak, a Victorian laldies writers desk with cute little cupboards on the side.

I have bid on a desk on Ebay and lost, trawled antique stores and scoped online sites to no avail. This has been going on for months then yesterday I remembered the 100 year old jacaranda wood table. It is a refectory table, bought from the Camberwell Market fifteen years ago. Hidden in the shed by a few years of crap and shame, I rescued it and now it is my desk. I look forward to writing at it today.

My point? Often things are closer than you think.

Monday

kate@spiritualbusiness.com.au (Kate Forster) — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 14:43:49 +0000

People make me laugh. People are funny. When Masterchef was on, I would watch the live Twitter feed alongside the program. The feed made me laugh more than the food.

To prove my point I present you with Hungover Owls. Those of you who know me know I love me some Owls. They have a inherent smartarse look about them. This is now cemented with the captions below the images. I have other things I should be doing but instead I looked at this site and it made me laugh. Laughing is good. There should be more of it.

Happy Monday.

Fools

kate@spiritualbusiness.com.au (Kate Forster) — Sun, 22 Aug 2010 09:14:50 +0000

I have banged on enough over the years about Mercury Retrograde but there are rules we need to follow or be it at our own peril.

I wish Julia Gillard had a personal astrology advisor. They would have told her to never call an election during Mercury Retrograde. Astrologers have been saying it would be a hung parliament, just like the recent election in the UK during Mercury Retrograde. They also had a hung parliament. Fools, the lot of them.

The only highlight of my voting, which I knew was a useless exercise, was the cake stall run by the oldest people in the world. I love a cake stall, so I will take my chocolate cake, topped with walnuts and icing to Blessed's today to play with her and her family.

Happy Sunday.

Wednesday musings

kate@spiritualbusiness.com.au (Kate Forster) — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 09:32:00 +0000

Reading an article in the weekend papers about a woman who writes from home but struggles to stay focused as her duties as a mother/household organiser/wife call her.

Yesterday I did my household tasks so today I could be free to write but the linen closet calls me. It is the closet of shame, where you risk your life should you open it without your hand in front of your face.

So, I choose to ignore it. The problem with tidying up is that is it an endless task. It needs to be adhered to like a new babies routine. I am not great at routine. I abhor them actually. Never had a routine in my life. I am not one who puts my left foot in the shoe first, or washes my hair first before my body. I never even think of it.
People say to me, do you have a routine and sometimes I lie. Sure, I say.
No routine.

The day goes to quickly and I must write as much as I can in my solitary life before the duties of my shared life call me again.

Onwards.

Meanwhile, Blessed Seraph and Ram-Beau have a new cherub. A boy. A beautiful little boy. I cannot tell you what a treasure he is.

I am reminded of this Rumi poem.

"That's how you came here, like a star

without a name. Move across the night sky

with those anonymous lights."

Happy days indeed.

F**k it

kate@spiritualbusiness.com.au (Kate Forster) — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 08:14:20 +0000

According to John Parkin, author of The F**K It Way, saying the words 'Fuck It' is powerful. "It's acupuncture for the mind," says John. "It sticks the needle in just the right place."

So today, I say it through the day. I suppose it's letting go of trying to control the uncontrollable. I can't make the clients pay faster. I can't make then sign off faster. I can't make then do shit, so fuck it.

I have a list of things I need to say Fuck It to-

- Making my book contract come through faster

- Having my house perfect

- Worrying about my weight and health

- Worrying about bills

- Worrying about family and friends

I realise as I write this I worry alot. Worry is early fear/stress/control.

I need not to worry. Things work out as they should.

I suppose saying Fuck It does not release you from personal responsibility. I will clean up the house a little today. Eat mindfully and go for a walk, chase some overdue money, call my Blessed and my sister to ensure they are ok but other than that I will let the rest fall as it may.

When I look back at the shit I have been thrown over the last few years, I see it worked out the way it was Meant. Somethings required greater thought and care but mostly things worked out the way they should. It will all be ok in the end and sometimes ok is good enough.

Fuck it.

New Moon in Leo

kate@spiritualbusiness.com.au (Kate Forster) — Mon, 9 Aug 2010 12:45:03 +0000

I love New Moons. so filled with hope and possibilities. Tomorrow we are blessed with a new one in Leo. A lovely quote from Kim Falconer's New Moon newsletter which i would like to share with you.

I always felt that the great high privilege, relief and comfort of friendship was that one had to explain nothing. -Katherine Mansfield

True dat!

Happy New Moon to you and yours and may the sun shine again on your street soon.

Get ready

kate@spiritualbusiness.com.au (Kate Forster) — Mon, 2 Aug 2010 15:27:47 +0000

I hope I get to sign my publishing contract before August 20th. That is when Mercury goes backwards and god knows things can go haywire. Did you know there are more burgularies in a Mercury retro period? Blessed Seraph was robbed twice in once year in this backward time.

My advice, for what it's worth is to get your papers signed and your technology done before the 20th.

Meanwhile, I am wondering about storms. We had our share of storms and rain yesterday and I was gleefully watching the weather rader, practically willing a storm to come. Gandalf thinks it's the witch/showgirl in me that likes the magic of the sound and lights.

I might even agree.

Later.

Come and join me here

kate@spiritualbusiness.com.au (Kate Forster) — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 09:35:31 +0000

http://kateforsterbooks.blogspot.com/

New things are afoot but I will tell more later. Meanwhile come and join the lighter side dear readers.

Moonies unite

kate@spiritualbusiness.com.au (Kate Forster) — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 08:36:16 +0000

My daughter wants to be a cult buster. Interesting. It's the Scorpio in her, they love secrets.

We recently watched a documentary called Leaving the Cult. We were fascinated by the members who have to go to a rehab facitlity to relearn everything they know away from the influence of the Kool Aid. In doco, three families had left a cult that was both frightening and alluring.

I felt the most sad for the mothers, who had been a taught a type of hellish corporal punishment was the best way to raise their small children. The pain of realisation on these womens faces as they came to understand their behavior cut deep.

What was more interesting was how easily the little cult children forgave their mothers. Children want to love. That's what broke my heart, for they saw how the mothers were trying and they loved them for this. It is possible to change and children know this.

So the moon is full in Aquarius today. This is great time to rethink they way you do things. Aquarius is an air sign and so blue sky thinking comes easily to them. Let go of the edge and dive in. Let go of the view of the shore and see beyond it. Freedom and new lands await.

Menawhile, I am off on my own new adventure. Exciting times in my house but more on that later.

Hapy Monday, Moonies.

A quincunx of a chart

kate@spiritualbusiness.com.au (Kate Forster) — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 07:36:01 +0000

As a an amateur astro whore, I am always interested when celebrities have a tough time. Schendenfreude? Never!

Instead I put it down to a healthy curiosity. I am possibly the nosiest person I know and have a wonderful ability to get people to tell me stuff.

This of course can be awkward, like the time I sat next to a drunk indian on an international flight, who ordered french champagne the entire flight. One question from me and he and proceeded to tell me about his short-lived marriage to an Indian Brahmin princess for the entire eight hours. The straw that broke the back of the marriage was her refusal to turn on an electric kettle. Fair enough, I thought to myself. (I have those days when I request Gandalf carry me from room to room on his back.) He was planning suicide but I convinced him that no kettle/ princess was worth losing his life for. At the end of the flight he had sobered up and was planning to look up his childhood girlfriend. Slumdog Air to the rescue!

This morning I see Miss Lohan has headed to jail. How long she will serve and will it help are questions I cannot answer. What I do know is that she has a shite chart. Poor kid. Cancerians like to feel things, deeply. They are often without a rudder, i.e.. a mother or father. Dina and Michael are both narcissistic dicks.

The Cancerians are the water sign looking to go back to the estuary. The main junction from where they came. Cancerians usually have abandonment issues.

If Cancerians can't feel then they replicate emotions through self abuse. Drugs, unusual sexual partners, self harm. Cancerians love the drugs. Little stoned crabs.

La Lohan's problem is her dark manifestation of her Sun/Neptune opposition. This means her illusions skills are brilliant. When used for good, like her acting, she is in her element. When used for self delusion she gets an orange jumpsuit that looks like Dina Lohans's fake tan.

Ah Lindsay. Get your shit together gurrrl. Otherwise you will end up dead by the time you are 27. Think Jean-Michel Basquiat and Kurt Cobain. Sad.

Later.

Monday lists

kate@spiritualbusiness.com.au (Kate Forster) — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 09:07:28 +0000

What is it about Monday's that throws us? Or is it just me?

Meanwhile, I am trying to be organised. I have resorted to lists again. Lists motivate me and cheer me on. Each tick for a task done is a mental pat on the back.

Lists are like maps, a blueprint for the vision we want to create in our lives.

I came to lists late, now I like to have them for everything in my life. Mental lists don't do it for me anymore. Writing it down makes the difference.

This site has over 140 lists for your use.

Some of them are odd - Plan a summer party (?)

Whatever floats your boat I suppose.

Happy Monday.

Lazy

kate@spiritualbusiness.com.au (Kate Forster) — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 10:32:57 +0000

I am trying to summon up the energy to get on with my day to day life. The last two weeks have been taken up with the changelings school holidays and the most exciting time in my fledling writing career so far.

I am tired and my surroundings are mess. The house is as though a mess bomb has gone off and I am without the energy to clean it. I should clean it, it is shitting me no end yet to get off the couch and actually do something about it seems like the biggest task in the world. I know I will feel better when it is done but the inspiration evades me.

Sometimes I work with lists, these seem to motivate me when I get a task done and I give it a big tick. No dice today and yet all I see is crap around me.

Blurgh.

What to do, what to do, what to do.

Just do it, is what i tell myself. One task at a time, one moment at a time.

Later.

I am even too lazy to put up an image on this post.

Blurgh!

Power down and power up

kate@spiritualbusiness.com.au (Kate Forster) — Thu, 8 Jul 2010 07:50:32 +0000

On Tuesday, my house was plunged into Old Pennsylvania Amish town when the power went off for five hours. I couldn't leave the house as I was waiting for the Captain Electricity to come and power us up again, so I was forced to do something that didn't require power.

I started with folding the laundry that was reaching Jack and the Beanstalk heights. Then I moved onto tackling my office. Manuscripts and edits for my new book were everywhere. Papers, which I am loathe to piff until I absolutely, positively know I shall not need them again.

It was a pleasant time, tempered with the Pisces Son, who said,"Well if the television won't work then I will play the Wii. If the Wii won't work then I will use the computer." He struggled to understand the concept of power and what else he could do beside sit and watch and press buttons.

The Scorpio daughter threw herself around like Paris Hilton at a nightclub opening. "Why is there no power? I'm cold? I'm going back to bed." (Exit stage right, sound of door slamming)

Me? I like adventures. Sure I was cold, (No heating), so put another jumper on. I made french toast on the gas stove for lunch. Heat up water on the stove for cup of tea. Trés pioneer.

Pottering was the only thing to do and I enjoyed it. Electricity makes us lazy. Don't get me wrong. I'm not some renounciate who believes in heading back to the washboard and wringer but I think we need to turn off sometimes and do things that requires our personal power, not electricity.

Boredom is powerful. From boredom, comes imagination. I like it when my kids say they are bored. Sometimes I turn the TV off just to shit them. Turn it off and do something that propels you forward, I say.

I hate to be that person who writes, 'when I was a kid.' But seriously, when I was a kid, I was raised on one TV channel at night and a backyard. My imagination knows no boundaries, my best friend and I would play dressups and create a glamourous imaginary world which has proven hard to leave as an adult.

Powerdown Tuesday was good in hindsight. It taught me to turn it off to turn me up.

The kids found things to do; reading books, cleaning up makeup, making a nest of bedclothes on the couch, talking to each other. It was blissful in some ways and then the power came back on and the moment was lost but not forgotten.

Inspiring Friday

kate@spiritualbusiness.com.au (Kate Forster) — Fri, 2 Jul 2010 09:42:13 +0000

Be Open

Above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you,

because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places.

Those who don't believe in magic will never find it.

- Roald Dahl

Set yourself free

kate@spiritualbusiness.com.au (Kate Forster) — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 17:16:58 +0000

How y'all doing post eclipse?

For me it has been tremendous. All that has been stuck has become unstuck and to celebrate I got a new haircut. A serious haircut and no longer little girl hair. You know all long and useless and landing in your soup.

Come on, what did you think would happen after the sun and moon righted themselves?

Surely something has shifted. I know it's been hard, I get that but seriously, have a look around you. What has moved?

The 'that was then this is now' stuff is daring us to be rash and possibly indifferent. What else could go wrong? You ask. Well, what could go right?

I feel for the peeps who had the dream pre-eclipse and now their lives have seemingly gone backwards. For a moment they felt like they had the world on a string and now they are back to where they were six months ago. Same ol' same ol. Send a prayer out for them. It could be worse.

My life has been a crapfest for about eighteen months, blah, blah, blah. So have many others lives and yet everyday post eclipse this week I have had one piece of good news after another. I am in the flow again and I am gonna take the baton and run with it. I know it may not last but man, it feels good.

Where ever you have natal planets in your chart then that is where the eclipse plunged you into darkness and then light. You may struggle with the piles of dust and crap that have been highlighted in your life but why not see it as a chance to clean them up?

June was the month of change and so as you bid it farewell what would you like to say goodbye to in your own life?

I like this advice from Carol Barbeau - Tonight before bed I would ask you to ask for forgiveness from those around you, and most of all forgiveness from SELF doubt, the past and be ready toallow the eclipse which is still strongly bubbling away attempting to SCRUB away our past.

So mote it be peeps and well done for getting through June!

Things to do in a eclipse waiting period

kate@spiritualbusiness.com.au (Kate Forster) — Sat, 26 Jun 2010 08:40:10 +0000

Pat a dog
Watch your fave movies
Watch a TV series that you have been meaning to view (nothing harsh people)
Have a bath
Walk on a deserted beach
Make something delicious, think slow food
Have a home spa (I don't advise leaving the house for too long, so DIY is perfect)
Sort out your photos and throw out the weird, blurring ones, taken when drunk at University
Colour coordinate your wardrobe
Create a vision board of your best life
Send a text to the most inspiring people you know and say, 'Thanks'
Ring your Mother and say thanks
Plan the most fabulous holiday you can, choose the hotels, the flights, the shops
Light a candle and write a list of ten things you want to happen soon
Have a lounge room disco
Have an afternoon nap
Spend the day in your pajamas
Do something special for someone else
Reread sections of your fave childhood books
Look up babelfish and learn words in another language.

Remember this too will pass an things always ease up eventually.

Later.

Dreams and pedestals

kate@spiritualbusiness.com.au (Kate Forster) — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 15:54:53 +0000

Disturbing dreams last night. Part of it that was I was telling people that I had a Moon in Leo and anyone with a Moon in Leo is in strife.

I don't have a Moon in Leo, as readers of this blog know, I have Moon in Pisces. So who does have Moon in Leo?

Kevin Rudd is who. Poor old Kevin, I dont know what went wrong but from looking at his chart I see this upheaval was written in the stars.

KRudd had a long way to fall from the pedestal that we Australians put him up on. Barry Obama needs to be mindful also and watch KRudd's demise and see it as a morality tale.

Pedestals are awful places. I have been placed one one before and so when I fell I got the assasination like old KRudd. I think most people with self referred energy are put on pedestals. It's a dangeous and precarious up there, trust me, I've seen the view.

This is why I am in favour of being ugly and rude and difficult sometimes and wearing your tracksuit for days to prove I am human and flawed.

That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.

Meanwhile- working, writing, mothering, spousing (I know that's not a word) and the list goes on. Life is interesting. Except it to be come more so when we have a the lunar eclipse and full moon on Saturday.

Full moon in Capricorn and a lunar eclipse that will affect the cardinal signs the most - Aries, Cancer, Libra and Capricorn.

Write your aspirations on the morning of the eclipse. Carve your name into a purple candle and dress it with lavender or peppermint oil and work out your ten dreams and goals. Write them down and hold close until the next eclipse. It's always wonderful to see what you have achieved.

Later, gotta go buy friands for Scorp daughter's French class. C'est la vie

Morning eyes

kate@spiritualbusiness.com.au (Kate Forster) — Sat, 19 Jun 2010 08:41:19 +0000

When I arise from my slumber each morning, bluebirds singing on each shoulder, I have a ritual of a cup of tea and Gandalf makes me breakfast (why the hell not? I make him dinner!) And then I surf the net.

I start with news headlines then swiftly move on to more serious subjects such as Facebook and gossip column. I have a few faves that never cease to amuse me. Check the scopes from trusted astrologists and just before I finish the my Irish breakfast tea, I finish with this blog here. Never ceases to: 1- make me smile and 2- make me envious of anyone who can draw.

If you had the choice between speaking another language, singing perfectly or being able to draw wonderfully, what would you choose?

Mine is drawing. I once managed to draw something pretty well at school. It was in a life-drawing class and the whole time I kept my eyes on the subject, not on the paper. The result was something that I think was pretty good. Well good enough for the art teacher to not believe me for a time until my bestie, The Tsarina, stepped in and backed me up.

Then I lost the drawing in the mess between high school and adulthood, when you throw it all away to prove you're a grownup, only to regret it later.

I drew with my eyes, not with my memory. The trick is to draw with what you see, not what you remember. We often draw symbols, a mouth from memory, not the mouth in front of us. I don't know if I could do it again. Those small embellishments that make the image jump out at us.

I suppose my point is, and I hope I do have one, is that we must look with our eyes, not with what we believe we see. Look further, look closer, open the third eye and wait. What do you really see?

Oh fuck it, I lied, I don't have a point at all. Just wanted to rhapsodise while I showed you the blog of wonderful drawings and amusing banter.

Thats should be enough of a point me thinks. Happy Saturday.

Step ball change

kate@spiritualbusiness.com.au (Kate Forster) — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 09:22:48 +0000

It doesn't take much for me to get inspired. Lately I have been reading about other peoples routines. Since I have moved sideways and am now working from home, establishing a routine has been somewhat harder than I expected.

As a Taurean woman, it is easy to get swept up in the sweeping, so to speak. The garden beckons seductively as does the never ending housework, although that is less inviting.

As I read other peoples routines online, I am amazed at those who get up early. 4.00 am and 5.00 am. WTF? My mother, the Aqua Nurse told me this was the hours between when most people died in hospital. I believe her, there is nothing good about this time. Dark, cold, still, bleak. She called it the Death Hour. I tried onc to get up early and wrirte and fell asleep again at my desk. Massive fail.

I have started afresh today. Up at a comfortable hour, soup made, list made, three ticks already and counting.

The autumn incense is burning and there is a sense of peace in the house even though the Scorpio Daughter is roaming around, late to school as she is treading the boards this week.

I think I have to experiment with routines until I find the right one that sticks. And then, no doubt, like a baby, it will change again.

Meanwhile I'll tap away on my keyboard and in my routine and see what happenes. It's all a process, The Good Doctor says to me and I believe her.

Write it down

kate@spiritualbusiness.com.au (Kate Forster) — Mon, 7 Jun 2010 08:21:00 +0000

I am working on absolute conviction in my approach to life at the moment and I must say it is giving me some lovely syncronicity signs.

They are always odd and random and the best thing I have ever done is to write them down. I had a major syncro moment once for the wedding of Blessed and Ram-Beau. It blew my mind when I reread it after they were married. Crazy, crazy stuff.

Today I had a weird one about a friends daughter and a pool company. Don't even ask. I dont know what it means but instead then I will write it down and sit on it for a while. Who knows they mean?

All I know is that I am back in the flow. Outside of my internal emotions and witnessing the signs as they unfold before me.

"Coincidences are spiritual puns."

G.K Chesteron

Later.

Burn this

kate@spiritualbusiness.com.au (Kate Forster) — Fri, 4 Jun 2010 08:18:50 +0000

Inspired by the Scorpio Journo, I worked on my manifesting yesterday. As a result I had symbolic dreams, Bridges, water, fish. You know the sort.

I had a satori moment yesterday when I realised that wanting is focusing on not having. Found wanting etc. So I changed the vibe, so to speak. Absolute conviction that it will happen.

Meanwhile, onwards with my day. I gloated celebrated with Blessed via text, that all my tasks were done before 8.30am and thus I had the day to do what I desired. She told me I was cruel for saying as such. Sorry petal.

I also have a new coffee to try and I am buring a Japanese Autumn incense, bought from a gorgeous Wholefood Store nearby. The sweetness of cinnamon combined with sandalwood, patchouli, gum benjamin and medicinal plants fills my home. Did you know that incense was used as a time keeper in Japanese ceremonies?

I am imaginging myself yelling at my kids in the morning, "You had better be ready by the time this joss stick is burned down or else."

Is that Buddhist parenting or what?

Not sure it translates.

Small things tickle my fancy today.

Dishes are done, dogs fed, lunches made, children off to school, washing in the dryer, rugs vacummed.

Peace reigns in my house.

'Tis good.

Bring it on, bring it on, bring it on.

Ready, Aim....

kate@spiritualbusiness.com.au (Kate Forster) — Wed, 26 May 2010 18:01:49 +0000

There is a Full Moon on Friday, in Sagg. A great moon for seekers. Whatever you are waiting for should rightfully happen by this moon. But don't sit and wait, get out and do something. (This advice is as much for myself as anyone else.)

Thing Artemis with her bow and arrow. The huntress of the night. Also the goddess of childbirth. She sees things through the long night until the morning when the new day dawns upon the earth.

Meanwhile, get cracking on your plans, anything this week needs to be put in place. Don't start stuff in a waning moon next week. Settle petal and let it be till the next new moon.

I have the Good Doctor coming to play with me this weekend. Yay! I am blessed with my friends. Last week Blessed in the country, this week, the Doctor in the city.

Happy Thursday!

Crazy maze

kate@spiritualbusiness.com.au (Kate Forster) — Mon, 24 May 2010 18:00:14 +0000

Thank god I had a decent weekend with Blessed, Ram-Beau and the Cherub, because today was a bitch wrapped up in a thorny blanket. Somedays are like this and I am trying to stop myself from heading back to the ledge.

I managed to get away and head to the country with friends and family. You know they are true friends (which I had no doubt about anyway) when you can wear your oldest clothes, eat weird food combinations with no judgement and totally be yourself, in everyway.

So I am back here in the minefield and hoping and taking action, always a good combination. The list seemed endless today and yet I know things will change again. they always do.

Stress busters I am working with right now include:

Cleaning house - In every way. Staying in the moment as I move form task to task

Listening to music - When I learned to drive, my instructor put on classical music. I still find it soothing in traffic and in my everyday life.

Creating new affirmations - Affirmations, when practiced deliberately and regularly, reinforce a chemical pathway in the brain, making the connection between two neurons stronger, and therefore more likely to conduct the same message again.

Rewire your brain and change your life.

I know so many who are going through so much at the moment and yet they inspire me with their grace under fire. Life isn't fair, I worked that out many years ago. All we can do is try to get through and do our best.

Love and light peeps and stay in the moment.

So mote it be.

Happy Astro Day

kate@spiritualbusiness.com.au (Kate Forster) — Thu, 20 May 2010 06:21:47 +0000

Today is my birthday and I woke early, 5.31am to be exact with the thought of what a crazy year it has been.

Crazy in everyway. Somethings have remained the same, some relationships have grown and become stronger and some have gone from my life. New opportunities have arisen and new outlooks are in place. If I was a betting gal, I would have lost the farm if I had to predict what has happened over the past year.

I have always struggled with birthdays, too much emphasis placed on them. Disappointment, unsurity on how and what to celebrate. Always a drama that pops up on and around the day. Oddly this year feels different. Not sure why but different in a good way.

I suppose I have been specific about who I spend the day with and how I spend the day. I advertised early to the family about the day and told them my small hopes and wishes and how I wanted to celebrate. Controlling? Maybe but after 38 years of bullshit around my birthday, where the dramas arise (usually people argue) which makes the day about everything else but the birthday, this is way on ensuring I am safe from the crazy.

But hey, it's only 6.27am, who knows what will happen?:-)

So my plans for the day? Writing, brunch with The Contessa, writing, dogwalking at the beach, dinner with my family, sister and parents. A crying shame my little bro can't be with us but I will raise a champagne in his honour.

My plans for the following year?

Well, I thought long and hard about this one. No plans but aspirations as such.

Enjoy my writing and learn more
Take care of my body and soul
Tell those who matter they matter
Stay present
Stay calm and carry on
Protect myself

If I think of anymore I will update through the day.

I am grateful to have another year here to keep up the good fight. The past six months I have been more myself than ever before and this has allowed me to expose my true skills, my true identity and my truth to people. The love that has surrounded me over the past year from dear family and friends, has helped me get through, what was the hardest year of my life. This is the best gift. For a while I thought I wasn't going to make it and yet here I am again. And this time, I know things will be different.

So I share my gift with you. My favorite poem.

A Birthday by Christina Rossetti

My heart is like a singing bird
Whose nest is in a water'd shoot;
My heart is like an apple-tree
Whose boughs are bent with thickset fruit;
My heart is like a rainbow shell
That paddles in a halcyon sea;
My heart is gladder than all these
Because my love is come to me.

Raise me a dais of silk and down;
Hang it with vair and purple dyes;
Carve it in doves and pomegranates,
And peacocks with a hundred eyes;
Work it in gold and silver grapes,
In leaves and silver fleurs-de-lys;
Because the birthday of my life
Is come, my love is come to me.